Blood is Solace
by Maria Starlight
Summary: Jack has disappeared. He's left Yusei all alone, heartbroken, and dead inside. Yusei's trying to mask his pain but it's finally pushed him to the brink. Will memories be enough to save him or will the solace of blood be to much of an addiction? J/Y & Y/B
1. Chapter 1

**Solace **

**Summary-** Without any warning Jack has disappeared. He's left Yusei all alone, heartbroken, and dead inside. Yusei begins trying to mask his pain but it's finally pushed him to brink. Will memories be enough to save him or will the solace of blood be to much of an addiction?

**A/N-** I'm basically a yaoi fangirl if you check my profile and go to my favorite stories you'll see that so I decided to try and write a yaoi fanfic or at least a tragedy mixed with some fluff. The 1st chapt is in 3rd person then the chapts after it will be from Yusei's POV if I wanna continue this. This is kinda like the prologue I guess

*Hospital 9:30 p.m.*

_A figure is lying still and barely alive on a hospital bed. There are multiple IVs pumping medicine into him trying to revive the pale corpse. He's barely alive but he's holding on waiting for one person in particular to come. His name is Yusei Fudo but he wasn't always like this. He would've been fine if he hadn't found solace in his own blood._

*2 weeks earlier*

"Yusei...I knew this would probably happen sooner or later." Jack said looking at Yusei's angelic body as the moonlight began to shine into their room in streaks.

Jack stood there frozen in time looking at Yusei and began to remember the 1st time they met. After a few seconds went by Jack shook his head and began to walk over to a desk.

"I can't let memories persuade me. I must forget this place...everything if I want to truly be alive." Jack said as he began to write something on a piece of paper.

Jack walked over to the nightstand by Yusei's sleeping figure, laid a note down on it he then proceeds to kiss Yusei's forehead, and left the room.

"Goodbye Yusei. One day we may meet again." Jack whispered as he disappeared into the night without ever looking back.

*The Next Morning*

Yusei had woken up and noticed Jack wasn't there. Seeing as he and Jack had been dating for 3 years he was use to waking up alone but this morning just wasn't sitting right with him. He had gotten dressed and just as he was about to walk out of the room noticed the note.

"Huh? A note...Jack's never left a note before." Yusei said as he picked the note up and his ocean blue eyes became misty.

His hands began to shake as he continued to read the note and acid tears streamed down his cheeks. Jack...his lover...his life had left him...for good this time.

"_Yusei...there's no easy way to say this but I believe it's best for us to go our separate ways. I love you...loved you don't think any other way about it but I guess our relationship was doomed from the start. It's time we move on and find new people...start our lives over. Thanks for making these last few years we shared...comforting. ~ Jack Atlas"_

"Jack...how could you?" Yusei whispered as he fell to the ground holding himself trying to block out the pain that was ripping through his body.

Yusei laid there as he began to drown in tears and pain. Jack had lied to him...had told him that they'd be together forever...that he loved him with all his heart.

"Well where are you now Jack if you aren't here with me?" Yusei thought as he forced his body to get up off the cold hardwood floor.

After a few minutes of fighting his body's protests to just lie there Yusei was walking down the stairs of his home. The thought of it just being him living in the apartment he and Jack had shared for years pulled at his heartstrings. This was the place that they had built their relationship...the place they had made love...the place that Jack had made so many promises to Yusei...and had broken every single one in a matter of seconds.

The thoughts that were rushing through Yusei's head were unmistakable but not so easy to ignore as he had anticipated.

"What if he's out there with someone else right now? What if he's been lying to me for the last 3 years? I bet he's always been lying to me and cheating on me behind my back. He never loved me." Yusei thought as he clutched his head in pain.

He never loved me kept replaying in Yusei's head. It couldn't possibly be true Jack always told Yusei he loved him he even showed him that on many occasions and in many different ways. The pain kept building up as Yusei looked at pictures that were on a brown coffee table in front of him. Just when he couldn't take it anymore he swung his arms knocking them all off.

Yusei fell to his knees as the pictures hit the ground and the glass shattered which an almost sickening crunch but Yusei ignored that as tears began to hit the ground and he punched the floor to release some of his pain. Yusei then looked over to the picture that was the closest to him which happened to be the picture that was taken the 1st time they met.

*Flashback*

They were at a party and Yusei had just happened to bump into Jack. They stood there a few minutes chatting then they both just felt a connection. Jack had somehow gotten close enough to Yusei to kiss him and at that moment their friend Crow had snapped the picture. Crow had set the whole thing up because he figured they'd make a good couple or at least good friends. Jack was furious that Crow had taken the picture but Yusei was somewhat thrilled and had asked for a copy.

Not more than a few months later Yusei and Jack had bought an apartment and moved in together. Yusei in particular instead of helping move things in had became so wrapped up in the picture that he failed to notice Jack sitting on the coffee table in front of him with his amethyst eyes showing amusement.

Jack had then gotten tired of being ignored and grabbed Yusei's arm and jerked him in his direction so he could snap Yusei out of his daze but that didn't go so according to plan. They had both fallen (Jack fell because Yusei fell on him) and began to laugh. It was that night they learned more about each other than any other night they had spent together.

*End of Flashback*

Yusei began to reach towards the picture ignoring the shards of glass that were on it. Jus as he was about to pick it up a long jagged piece of broken glass cut his finger. Yusei winced in pain but then stopped as crimson red blood began to fall from the cut. Yusei sat there for a few minutes and watched the blood hit the floor listening to the sound it made it was hypnotizing to him. He felt all his pain disappear...at least until the blood stopped falling.

"What was that feeling I felt as I watched my blood fall? It felt wonderful...there was no pain." Yusei thought as he picked up a piece of glass and began to cut a line down another one of fingers and watched the blood fall again.

Yusei didn't know what this feeling was but he knew he liked it. He'd never felt this calm in his whole life and continued to cut his fingers until they were all red and covered with blood.

A/N- This is my attempt at a yaoi story. The next few chapts will be in Yusei's POV and reveal the present and the past as days go by. Anyway R&R please. Tell me what you think of this story and if you want me continue. Flames are welcome but only if it's criticism. Thanks Maria Starlight out!


	2. Chapter 2

**Pain**

**Summary-** The 1st day without Jack has come and gone. The truth has set in for Yusei he now knows Jack isn't ever coming back. The next 3 days have been the hardest for him but as he almost completely pushes everyone that's ever cared about him away how much longer can he last? How much pain can he take before his sanity is lost?

A/N- Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm going to continue the story because believe it or not I've been down this road. Well I wasn't doing this over a boy I was doing this for other reasons you don't need to know. The 1st step to dissolving the pain is to admit that it's there but anyway on with the story! Yusei's POV!

*3 Days Later*

It's been 3 days since you disappeared and this weird feeling won't leave me alone. I can't help but like it. I don't feel so weak anymore but I don't feel as strong as I did before.

"You're never coming back I guess. Ha I still remember the 1st time this happened. You left for 3 days on a business trip and forgot to tell me." I said talking to no one but the empty space in the living room as I sat on the floor.

"I remember those agonizing days so well. I was panicking and running around the apartment trying to find you. I stayed up all 3 nights until you came through the door. I was so relieved that you came home but I couldn't control my emotions so I jumped you." I said continuing to talk to the empty space that once was our happy home.

"I've been forcing myself to go through each of these days. Crow, Aki, Bruno, Rua and Ruka ha even Ushio has stopped by to see me. I guess I must be causing a great deal of worry if he showed up. I bet you would've laughed at the sight of me kicking him out." I thought as I remembered the last 3 days.

*Flashback Day 1*

I was just lying on the sofa not even bothering to eat because I knew it would just come back up later. I forgot that Jack had dispensed keys to certain people to check on me every now and then if they thought I wasn't doing well or Jack was out of town. The 1st person to come was Aki.

I knew she had a crush on me from the start but I could never return her feelings. I told her that multiple times. She was persistent at least until she saw me and Jack together. She slowly began to give up but I guess not completely, seeing that she was my friend.

"Yusei? Are you in here?" Aki asked as she walked into the dark living room.

I stayed quiet so she would probably think I left or I was sleeping but I should've known better than that. She kept fumbling around the room until she found the lamp and pulled the cord to cut it on.

"Yusei!" Aki screeched as she ran towards me noticing all the cuts old and new on my arm from the previous day.

I continued to not say a word because I knew I wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes. She was shocked at the sight of my body. I was bruised, bloody, and had so many cuts on my arms that you couldn't tell where one began and one ended.

"Yusei who did this to you? Was it Jack?" Aki questioned as I winced at the sound of his name.

I was trying my best to fight the torrent of tears that were stinging my eyes like razors. I failed though because without me knowing a few began to spill down my cheeks.

"Yusei...how could Jack do this. If you were being abused you should've told us!" Aki exclaimed touching me but I pulled away and forced my aching body to sit up.

"No...he didn't do this I did. Jack's gone Aki he left." I said as more tears began to fall.

"What? Yusei how did this happen?" Aki questioned trying to prod past my barrier.

"Aki...leave. I don't need any help I just want to be alone." I said as I stood up and began to show Aki towards the door.

"Yusei please let me help you." Aki said as I pushed her outside and locked the door.

"I don't need help just leave me alone and don't ever come back!" I yelled as I went into the kitchen to find the other lock Jack had bought incase we need it.

Aki left slowly with her head hung low staring at the ground as tears fell from her eyes.

"Serves you right." I whispered as I continued my search to no avail.

I just laid on the floor in the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I slowly pulled it along my arm opening old wounds as I watched blood begin to rise between the small slit in my skin. This time it made a trickle down the side of my arm and fell to the ground in a perfect circle. I couldn't believe something so simple could be so perfect but it was. I laid there the rest of the night watching the blood fall and when it stopped I'd create a new cut and start all over.

*Day 2 Morning*

"Yusei hey Yusei!" A voice shouted as I sat up from my laying position on the kitchen floor.

I couldn't believe who it was I thought I was mistaken but I wasn't. It was Ushio...I just didn't know why or how he was here. Then I thought about it I had unlocked the door to dispose of shredded pictures later that night. I heard footsteps drawing closer and closer to the kitchen door that's when I realized the light had been on all night.

"Hey Yusei you in here? Aki told me to stop by and—." Ushio said as he opened the door and gasped at the sight of me with my black shirt and jeans stained in blood.

"What happened!" Ushio yelled rushing over to me when he saw the bloody knife.

"Nothing happened." I said picking up the knife like it was a pen and began to drag it down my arm again to try and drown his words out.

"Hey stop that!" Ushio exclaimed as he snatched the knife away from me.

"I don't need you're damn help give me back my knife!" I yelled jumping up to get it back.

"Yusei you need help I'm calling Jack." Ushio said as he began to reach for his phone.

"Don't even bother Jack's gone and he's not coming back! He could care less about what I do so I'll thank you to get the hell out of my house!" I screamed as I grabbed Ushio led him to the door, took my knife back and then threw him out not realizing he was stumbling so he fell down a flight of stairs and closed my door.

"Why does everyone think I need help I'm just fine! I don't have time for this!" I thought as I began to slightly stab myself in the arm with my knife.

This pain felt a lot better than just dragging the knife along my arm. I saw more blood fall and then stopped to sit on the couch and watch the blood fall and stain my clothes.

*Day 2 Afternoon*

"Hey Yusei ya in here?" Crow called out as I walked into my bedroom from the bathroom in new clothes that would just get dirty later on.

I walked around and sat on my bed praying Crow would just leave. I slowly laid on the bed and began to mess with scabs that were forming over some of my cuts. I didn't realize it until it was to late and my bedroom door opened.

"Yusei what happened to ya?" Crow exclaimed and I heard 2 more gasps that made me freeze.

"Yusei!" Rua and Ruka exclaimed rushing over to both sides of my bed.

"Yusei buddy how did this happen?" Crow asked sitting beside me looking concerned.

"I'm fine...I don't wanna talk about it." I said trying my best to ignore the stares I was receiving until I heard soft sniffles.

I looked to my right and noticed Ruka was crying...for me. I guess she could tell I was in more pain than I could bear. Rua was fighting back tears and failing miserably and Crow well I've never seen him this scared before...not since Kiryu died. I know I looked pathetic...I was suppose to be strong but at this moment I felt too weak to even care.

"Rua...Ruka go to the living room me and Yusei need to talk." Crow said trying to be as brave as possible.

"Ok." They said simultaneously as they left.

"Yusei...did Jack do this? I mean did he cause this in any way or form?" Crow asked touching me and I tried to pull away.

"He's gone Crow. He's never coming back." I said as tears began to fall down my cheeks.

"That's all I needed to know. Yusei we're all here for you. You can't keep doing this to yourself." Crow said as I balled up my fists.

"Go...just go and don't ever come back." I said with venom spewing from my words.

"Fine...I shouldn't cause a scene with the twins here anyway. I'll be back or send someone tomorrow to check up on you." Crow said as he walked out of the room and I heard the front door close.

*Day 3*

I don't remember going to sleep so I must've blacked out. I opened my eyes and noticed it was sunrise that I had bandages covering my arms, legs, and torso and that I was only wearing boxers.

"So you're finally awake. You hungry Yusei?" A person asked as I tried to see but a light blurred my vision.

"Who are you?" I asked as I sat up trying to see the person but the light from the open door was obstructing my view.

"Oh sorry." He said quickly as he shut the door and my vision began to adjust.

"Bruno?" I asked questioningly as he stood there with a bowl of something in his hand.

"Yea it's me Yusei. I can see you're not feeling well. You've got a lot of self inflicted cuts...don't worry I won't ask. Crow told me already and so did Aki." Bruno said as he walked towards the bed and sat beside me.

"Please just leave me be. Why won't you all do that?" I whispered as Bruno touched my cheek and began to stroke it.

"**We** can't because we all care about you dearly. **I** can't because well Yusei I love you too much. You're too precious for me to lose." Bruno said as he lightly kissed my lips.

"What?" I said stunned at Bruno's confession.

"You heard me I love you. I know now's not the time since...**he** left you but I care for you...**can** care for you a lot more than him...a lot more than he ever did or could." Bruno said as he kissed me again.

My brain couldn't register everything I was hearing. I didn't wanna believe it but I had no choice. My best friend had just confessed his undying love for me. I don't know why but hearing those words from Bruno made me so happy...I couldn't believe it but I was beginning to smile.

"Bruno...I—" I tried to say but Bruno stopped me by placing a single finger over my lips.

"Shhh don't talk just feel." Bruno said as he kissed me again but this time a little more passionately and carefully.

I couldn't say anything...I never expected this to happen. My best friend...brother even loved me. As Bruno pulled away I looked down at the covers on the bed until a hand cupped my chin and forced my head up. I was staring at Bruno and he was staring at me with a smile on his face.

"Yusei...I understand this is a lot more than you probably want but I just gotta know something." Bruno said taking a jagged breath.

"Bruno what is it?" I asked not knowing what could happen next.

"Will you be mine? I understand how you feel right now and I know you loved...still love Jack a lot but will you at least give me a chance?" Bruno asked blurting out everything on his mind.

"..." I sat there unable to respond for a second.

"Oh I see...I understand Yusei. I'm sorry." Bruno said looking away.

"Bruno...I accept." I said as I kissed Bruno this time.

I may not be able to love Bruno like I love Jack but I can at least give him a chance. I just hope I don't hurt him. This may be...will be his only chance after all.

A/N- The end of chapt 2 thanks again for the reviews. Most of you probably weren't expecting this but yea Bruno to the rescue! Or at least he's gonna try. The past will be coming back to haunt Yusei soon enough though. I may even throw in a couple chapts that involve Jack and his thoughts but that may not be until the end or close to it. Anyway R&R Maria Starlight out!


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